fresh tomatoes are no reason to stay in a relationship

Break ups are hard and they are particularly difficult for the person who has to find a new place to live and move on - as they say.  Two years ago we both knew it was time to move on but I hesitated for months because I didn't want to leave the cozy home we had created together.  I would miss the house, the neighbors, the garden, we were even building a chicken coop.  But I knew I would not really miss the relationship so I slept in the guest bedroom for several weeks while I tried to figure out where I was going to live and how I was going to afford to live without him.  One night I cried myself to sleep as it started to wash over me that I would never again get to work in the raised beds or pick the apples in our beautiful garden.  But fresh tomatoes are no reason to stay in a relationship!

Last week I was hiking up Quandary Peak.  Not far from the summit I saw a woman with a dog sitting off the side of the trail.  Asking her how she was doing was a great reason to stop and catch my breath.  At thirteen thousand feet she felt the desire to tell me all about her most recent break up.  He was hiking to the summit, she was too tired to finish.  "Why are you hiking with him if you just broke up?" I asked  "We are still friends." she replied.  But she already told me how devastated she was that he was taking another woman on the vacation that they had planned together.  "Also, I don't feel safe hiking alone" she added.  I pointed out that the trail was very well used and that I have hiked this peak alone several times.  She continued to come up with reason why she was spending the day with this guy so I stopped pointing out her contradictions.  "If you see a guy in a blue ball cap, walking with a collie let him know I'm still down here waiting."- When I passed said guy I didn't mention the pining ex one thousand feet below us.  When he caught up to me at the summit he asked if I would shoot a snapshot of he and his pup.  He seemed very happy. 

I think I used to be like her, I think I could possibly be like her again if I'm not careful.  A friend at camp said to me this summer, "When a woman is not confident with who she is, then she is destine to become whoever he wants her to be." - Well said! But what happens if you find out he didn't really know what he wanted?

Reciprocity:  I have decided is the basis for all relationships. 

She gets a hiking buddy, I got fresh tomatoes.